Seinfeld

Here in the newsroom, we have a bit of an obsession with Seinfeld.
I'll be honest, I never liked Seinfeld, until I started working here and was unable to stop listening to the "did you ever see the one where...".
Really, it's a show about nothing with a cast of unrememborables who do mundane work and eat at the same coffee shop every day.
If I were in that coffee shop I would walk by their table completely uninterested. Except for the guy with the weird hair. Him I'd notice, but only until I could tell my roommate about him while we were watching some strange commercial on TV.
Could you imagine this cast reuniting to make a more modern version of the show?
Picture it: Jerry would be unemployed, because let's face it, his jokes aren't funny in the 21st century. He might have become the spokesman for a white sneaker company, but they would only sell shoes to basketball players that can't afford the high-end stuff. Needless to say, Jerry wouldn't be able to afford his apartment on his own and would need a roommate, as there's no way he'd be married.
He could room with Kramer, but I rather think at this point that Kramer has attracted some smart woman with a serious job and a need to laugh when she gets home. I picture him in suburbia with a pipe and brandy goblet, making the neighborhood kids happy.
George got roped into marriage. After Susan's death, fate decided she'd been too lenient, and he married a woman just like his mother, nasaly voice and all. He's back working for Steinbrenner and the Yankees, and he can't stand Derek Jeter. His wife convinced him to take a vacation in the fall of 2004, and it was because he was out of the country that he survived the massive layoffs after the Yankees lost the penant to the almighty Red Sox.
Elaine married Mr. Peterman. After Brazil, he decided to return to New York to set the eclectic-device collecting world on its ear with his battery-operated socks. Nobody believed him, until one day he ripped off Elaine's shoe and slipped one of his socks on her foot and hit the 'on' button. They were both goners from there. He made millions, and they now live half the year in New York and half in Brazil, where battery-operated socks are unnecessary. They have three children.
They still eat at the coffee shop, but only George and Jerry are true regulars. They are both bald and fat, and George probably had Lasik surgery, so his squinty eyes go unhindered by glasses. Jerry still scratches the waistband size off his jeans and writes '32'. It's his most hilarious act.